i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
