No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
