Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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