Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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