Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize