eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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