arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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