When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize