After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
