Nicole vs. Life
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's never too late to be topless.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
