Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
