It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
