I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
