For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
