You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
