i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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