I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
