I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm passing your future prison.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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