I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
