you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
