The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
