do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
