the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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