I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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