my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
