im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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