my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
