i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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