no you cant smoke seaweed
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
