That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize