i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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