I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize