I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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