i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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