Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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