when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
