really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
