She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
