I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
