Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
