I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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