i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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