It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
