Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
