My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
