Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
