One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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