all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
