Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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