this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
