The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
