My first STD was from a foam party
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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