We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
