They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
