I must be too annoying 4 u.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
