My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
