Ambien. No doubt about it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
