Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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