I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
