dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
