The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize