all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
